The Impatient Chef Presents: The Ultimate Chili Dog

Once upon a time, there was a hot dog and ice cream joint in Cascade Locks, Oregon called Locks of Dogs and Treats.  The Impatient Chef reviewed them back in 2018.  While the name was a tad silly, the food was revelatory in its simplicity and yum factor.  Unfortunately, they did not make it through the pandemic, so the only way to have one of their loaded chili dogs was to recreate it.  

The Dog Lives!

Please note: The Impatient Chef is comforted greatly by comfort food, and as mentioned before, is impatient. This recipe puts those two ingredients together, and throws in some Southern charm to come up with what is basically a Frito Pie on a hot dog.

The object was to get as close to the taste I remember, and, here's the key, do it impatiently.  

Here goes:  

Serves 4.

Ingredients:

• 3 cans of the chili you like the most.   This recipe uses canned chili.  Deal with it.  
• 4 Hebrew National Beef Kosher Hot Dogs
• Grated cheddar 
• Grated pepper jack
• Fritos
• Sliced Jalapeños 
• 3 standard sized hot dogs, sliced (if necessary)
• Hot dog buns 

Equipment:

• A crockpot
• Paper serving dishes 

Directions:

A few hours before you want to serve, put the chili in the crockpot, and add the hot dogs.  The second time The Impatient Chef frequented Locks of Dogs and Treats, he noticed a touch of genius in the chili: small slices of hot dogs.  To recreate this, if your chili does not have sliced dogs in it, slice the 3 standard sized hot dogs somewhat thinly, no more than 1/4" thick.  Add them to the crockpot, and stir them in.  

The Impatient Chef uses an older one with three settings: off, low, and high.  Use high, or the equivalent on yours.  Stir occasionally.  No burning allowed.  

When the chili and dogs are hot through and through (remember, these are large hot dogs, so it will take longer to heat them), prepare your other ingredients.  

Grate the cheeses and mix them together in a bowl.  There are no amounts given because you can use as much (to a point) or as little as you want.  Slice the Jalepeños.  The Impatient Chef used whole pickled jalapeños from a Mexican grocery store, and sliced them.  You can use pre-sliced jalapeños if you want.  The Impatient Chef prefers Mezzetta Sliced Hot Jalapeños.  

The Other Ones

Serve.  

The Impatient Chef gritted his teeth on this one:  Use rectangle paper food trays, the kind with red and white checkers on the bottom, unless you have rectangular dishes of the right size.  

The Impatient Chef Models the Tray in the Back Yard

First, open the bun wide (say ah), and insert the dog. Note the correctly sized slice of hot dog that tagged along with its larger cousin.

The Dog at Rest

Next, ladle the chili liberally over the dog.  You want to cover the whole bun, and some should slop over the sides into the tray.  Don't skimp.  Then, throw on a mitten full of cheese, some Fritos, and about 10 Jalapeño slices.  

The Real McCoy at Locks of Dogs and Treats from 2018

Eat.  

You deserve it.

The Impatient Chef

The Impatient Chef Presents: Bacon-Wrapped Jalapeño Yukon Golds

The Impatient Chef is at best, like all cooks, a recipe thief.  In this case, the thievery was done from a place in The Dalles, Oregon, called Rivertap.  The Impatient Chef has reviewed Rivertap favorably here.  This recipe should not, in any way, prevent you from eating there if you are within striking distance, and to be perfectly honest, theirs are better.  I made them based on my approximation of how they do it.  There is some secret to Rivertap's supreme yumminess which The Impatient Chef is in no danger of revealing in this post.  This recipe will get you part way there, though.  

These babies never fail to please.   

Makes 16.  

Ingredients:

• 4 smallish, roundish yukon gold potatoes (the more spherical, the better)
• 8 jalapeño peppers, cut in half lengthwise, and with the membranes and seeds removed
• 8 strips of bacon, cut in half
• Cheddar cheese, shredded
• Ranch dressing.

Equipment:

• A deep frier, or large cast iron dutch oven.  
• Thermometer
• fat skimmer, or other utensil to remove spuds during initial fry.
• 16 toothpicks

Directions:

1. Start your frier or dutch oven with the oil of your choice (peanut oil is preferred).  Heat to 320 degrees F.
2. Cut the spuds in half, and then the halves into thirds.  Try to get them as even as possible, but there is a workaround if you don’t. 
3. Fry the spuds for 8 to 10 minutes, getting them out after 6 minutes if they float.  Some may float too early because they will develop air pockets around the edges.  Use your better judgement in removing them when they are actually done.  
4. Once they are fried, remove put them onto a plate, and place them into the refrigerator while you prepare the jalapeños and cut the bacon.  
5. Increase fry temperature to 375 degrees F.
6. Once the spuds are cool enough to handle, place them into the jalapeño halves, and wrap with the bacon.  Skewer them with toothpicks, being sure to secure the bacon ends to both the jalapeños and spuds. 
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
7. Once fry temperature is 375 degrees, fry the spuds until the bacon is crisp. 
8. When they are done, place them on a platter, sprinkle with the shredded cheddar, and serve with ranch dressing as a dipping sauce. 

Enjoy!  

--The Impatient Chef.