The Impatient Chef Recipe: Ham and Grits with Red-Eye Gravy

"Them Damn Grits" - George Carlin

The Impatient Chef has presented a couple similar recipes in the past.  The first was Blue Grits with Ham and Red-Eye Gravy, and the second was Cadillac Ham and Grits with Red-Eye Gravy.  The first is a decent recipe, but The Impatient Chef has moved away from that style of gravy for this dish because the version presented here is simply better, and it's highly Impatient.  The second recipe was done on a lark, and while the lark lived to tell the tale, it is not something one would want to do all the time unless money was not an object, and, again, this recipe is better.  

Notes on ham:  If you have a honest-to-goodness butcher shop in town, hie ye thither to procure your ham.  The Impatient Chef has found that the good hams are not in the supermarket.  An exception is Beeler's ham, which can be found in natural food stores.  

This is a great dish for leftover ham after a holiday meal. You can save ham fat, and you also can pick all of the yummy ham scraps off of the bones.  What?!?  You got a boneless ham?!?  Shame on you.

With practice, you should be able to get all of the ingredients done at the same time, which is important so that it goes together hot. 

The Impatient Chef uses Bob's Red Mill White Grits.  They get the job done with style.  If you dare, you can use Anson Mills Antibellum Coarse White Grits.  However, they are decidedly not Impatient, and you have to soak them overnight.  They are fabulous, though.

Serves 2.  You can get this breakfast done in less than fifteen minutes with a little practice.

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup chopped ham fat scraps (substitute with 2 tbsp bacon grease if necessary) 
• 1 well-packed cup cubed ham 
• 1/2 cup Bob’s Red Mill white grits 
• 3/4 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper
• 2 dashes cayenne pepper 
• 1 tablespoon butter 
• 1/2 cup brewed coffee 

Directions:

1. Make coffee. Reserve 1/2 cup, into which you will add 2 dashes of cayenne pepper. 
2. Render the ham fat in a medium iron skillet on medium high heat until there is enough grease in the pan to fry the ham. If you are using bacon grease, or (shudder) vegetable oil, you can skip this step. 
3. While the fat is rendering, cook grits. In a small saucepan, add 2 cups of water, and bring to a boil. Add the grits and stir. When they return to a boil, lower heat until they barely simmer. Cover, and stir every 30 seconds at minimum. Be careful to stir the bottom of the pan because they will stick.  
4. Remove the ham fat scraps from the skillet (do not discard the oil), and add the ham. Fry the ham, stirring them often, until they start to brown. You want a nice fond in the bottom of the pan. 
5. When the grits are almost done, add the butter, salt, and pepper. Stir.  You can use less salt if you are so inclined.
6. When the ham is browned, remove from pan. Set aside in a bowl. 
7. Return the pan to the heat. Stir the coffee to suspend the cayenne. and add it to the pan, Stir with a flat end wooden spoon to deglaze, scraping the bottom to suspend the fond in the coffee. Turn off the heat. You now have red-eye gravy. 
8. Turn off the heat for the grits as well. 
9. Divide the grits into two bowls. Add ham over top. Swirl the red-eye gravy in the pan, and then pour half of it over each bowl. 
10. Serve.

The Impatient Chef Writes a Poem

I haven't written a poem for a few years, but I had a the inspiration a while ago,  I sat on the idea for this one for a while, and then worked on it slowly.  I think it's finished.  So, The Impatient Chef presents...

Whackety Chop

Winter wind swirls at the country cafe

With tall trees in the back, a parking lot, 

And a chicken coop full of laying hens, 

Making breakfast for the regulars.

She twirls in the kitchen while raindrops ,like

Bumble bees at full speed, splat on the windows.

With two spatulas she makes omelets, 

Whackety chop, clanging on the hot grill.

“Order up!” she calls out above the noise.

The trees bend, morning regulars murmur.

The roof creaks.  Hens squawk.  Eyes wide as the storm.  

A fox is near, nose points to the hen house.

He is wet.  And so cold.  The hens are dry.  

Lightning sizzles.  She cracks eggs in a bowl,

She beats them with a fork, swirling like leaves.

Whackety chop.  Eggs on the grill, ham

Hash browns, bacon, biscuits, chicken fried steak.  

“Order up!” she calls above the plates.

The hens lay eggs, and lay more tomorrow.

 Pigs are fully committed to the meal.

Their smells intermingle on the hot grill, 

And with coffee with cream, and some sugar.

Eyes glow in the cafe window’s soft light.

The wind howls so that the fox won’t have to. 

The coop roof lifts off, and sails through the storm, 

The chickens look up, understanding ham.  

Blue Grits and Ham with Red-eye Gravy

My take on a popular southern breakfast.

Ingredients:

• 1 tablespoon butter
• 1/2 cup chopped fatty ham scraps (substitute with more butter if necessary)
• 2 (3/8 inch thick) slices ham, cubed
• salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
• 1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper, or to taste
• 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour (add more if necessary to make roux)
• 2/3 cup brewed coffee
• 1 cup white or blue corn grits (I prefer Anson Mills Antebellum blue or white grits)

Directions:

1. Cook grits by package instructions.  Anson Mills’ directions can be found on their web site.  
2. Heat oil in a medium skillet over medium heat. Cook and stir ham scraps until browned, about 5 minutes. If you don’t have the ham scraps, substitute 3 tbsp butter.  Remove to a plate, reserving the grease in the pan.
3. Place ham cubes in the pan and cook over medium heat until browned, about 5 minutes. Season with salt, black pepper, and cayenne pepper. 
4. Reduce heat to medium-low and sprinkle flour over the pan drippings and ham cubes. Cook and stir for 2 minutes. Increase heat to medium-high and pour in coffee into the pan. Cook and stir until combined and thickened. Season to taste. Serve over grits.  

Adapted from Allrecipes.com