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There was a band from Detroit in the 1960's called the MC5. They were an early proto punk/metal/rabble-rousing/ear-splitting group of sonic misfits who wove jazz and R&B into loud guitars and smashing drums well before it became fashionable. One of their members, one Fred “Sonic” Smith, married Patti Smith in the 70’s, but that’s another story. Their most popular song was called “Kick out the Jams.” The Impatient Chef is aware of the concept of irony, and thus wishes to dedicate this chapter of the “Vedy, Vedy British Cream Tea” to the the song that launched a thousand ear plugs, because we’re going to Kick out the Jams, Brothers and Sisters.
Our quest began in Hood River, Oregon. Hood River is the closest one can get to living in paradise in the northern hemisphere. Doubt me? Take that!
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| Ruthton Point, Hood River |
And that!
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| Mt Hood and Orchard, Hood River |
And that!
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| Sunbeam, Hood River Valley |
Had enough? Well, then, let’s continue.
Hood River has a locally famous route of farm stands called the “Fruit Loop” that starts on Route 35 where it leaves I-84 along the river that gives Hood River its name. It goes up a long hill past fruit stands, orchards, wineries, and more fruit stands, orchards, and wineries until it passes Odell, and then onto the turn off to Parkdale, and onto Route 281, also known as the Dee Highway, where it winds past more fruit stands, orchards and wineries until it becomes Tucker Road, and pretzels along the aforementioned river, and past the Apple Valley Country Store (bookmark that for later), and finally returns to Hood River (the town, not the river again) where both Mt Adams and Mt Hood are visible.
We were looking for local berries, but all of the farms stands had packed up for the season. Being November, berry season was well over. The Impatient Chef prefers local produce, but isn’t above dragging it out of a mega-conglomo-mart, as long as it doesn’t begin with “Wal.”
They have such a place in that hinterland of windsurfers and snow bunnies. It’s called “Rosauers.” They even had berries. Great.
They were grown in Mexico. Not so great. The idea was to use local berries. A thought sizzled through the negatively-charged, ionized space between the Impatient Chef’s ears:
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| Apple Valley |
Apple Valley makes its jams from local fruits and berries. So, if The Impatient Chef can’t kick the jams out himself, why not let someone else do it?
This is not a commercial, but it could be considered an endorsement. They windsurf the Web here: https://applevalleystore.com.
Inside, you will be greeted by shelves stocked with their namesake jellies, jams, syrups, mustards, pies, and pie fillings, as well as Moonstruck Chocolates (https://moonstruckchocolate.com), ice cream, and locally made pot holders.
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| Kickin' Out the Jams |
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| More Kickin' Out the Jams |
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| Mustard! |
We walked out with Marionberry Jam, Peach Pepper Jelly, Raspberry Jam, a container of Moonstruck Hot Cocoa Mix, and a really big cookie. T’was a goodly haul for a Vedy, Vedy British Cream Tea.
Up next: Putting it all together.
