The Impatient Chef Recipe: Eggplant Parmesan

Eggplant Parmesan

The Impatient Chef has avoided eggplant parmesan for well over thirty years.  Some bad, nay, traumatic, experiences were to blame, but he got a bug recently, and decided to give it another go.  By all reports, it was a nummy success.  

Eggplant is a vegetable in the ugh family of icky round things in the bitterus spititoutis species of flora that most people avoid.  It has a tendency toward becoming slimy and unpleasant when cooked, yet it is inedible when raw.  How can this be avoided?

Salt.

Salt is the key to yummy eggplant.  We're not talking about light sprinkling, though.  More like a thin coating, followed by a rest period where water drains off, along with the yuck factor.  The mistake The Impatient Chef made in the past was to not use enough salt.  

Noodles.

While making you own noodles can be rewarding and delicious, remember that this is The Impatient Chef you are reading.  As such, when you come home after a long day at work, and young Billy brought in a baby raccoon, and momma raccoon is gnawing her way through the heating ducts while the Spousal Unit posting about chemtrails on Facebook, and you still want to make something extraordinary, you are advised to leave the noodles to someone else.  There are great, dried spaghetti noodles out there.  They have a higher price, but you deserve it.  Concentrate on the eggplant, and don't make this your entire evening.  Sit.  Have a treat.  There's a good boy.  

Sauce.

If you want to make homemade spaghetti sauce, do it the day before, and heat it up slowly when you put on the spaghetti water.  If you don’t feel like it, use some from a jar.  The Impatient Chef recommends Trader Joe’s Organic Marinara.  This recipe is not about the sauce, but the Trader Joe’s sauce was divine with it.  

Why make it the day before?  Spaghetti sauce benefits from a long simmer.  The Impatient Chef remembers anecdotes from neighborhood kids at his grandparent's home near Philadelphia that recounted that Italian mothers would cook a spaghetti sauce all day to get all of the flavors to balance right.  Cooking it for a half an hour after all of the ingredients have been added, and placing it in the refrigerator for a day has largely the same effect.  The Impatient Chef will publish a spaghetti sauce at some point soon.  It will be impatient, though.  

The Importance of Impatience.

This is the manifesto for The Impatient Chef.  The humor and third-person schtick aside, this blog (maybe someday a cookbook) exists to give tips to busy people for making comforting food without all the fuss, and to hone in on what parts of any particular dish are worth fussing over.  Oh, there's the restaurant reviews too, but that's not what we're talking about here.  If you want to fuss, by all means, do so.  But, be aware that you can break the chains that bind you to the stove, and still make delicious stuff.

Notes on deep frying.

Deep frying is divine.  If you are concerned about fat, eat less of it.  Eating less of a yummy dish is easily superior to eating more of something uninspiring.  

Feeds 2 people with leftovers.

Ingredients:

• 1 12oz eggplant, skin removed and sliced into 3/8” medallions (use the black, egg-shaped ones)
• 1 egg
• 4 tbsp four 
• 1 cup panko
• 2 tbsp cornstarch 
• 3 tbsp kosher salt
• 1 tsp pepper
• 4 oz fresh mozzarella cheese, shredded
• High heat frying oil
• Spaghetti sauce
• Spaghetti 
• Parmesan cheese 

Directions:

1. Salt the eggplant using 1 tbsp plus 2 tsp salt.  Toss them in a mixing bowl, and place them on a wire rack with a baking sheet underneath, and let them sit for 40 minutes.
2. After 30 minutes, start the spaghetti water. Also start the sauce heating on low.  Stir occasionally. 
3. Get out 3 bowls.  In one, put the flour.  In the next, beat the egg, and in the last add the panko, cornstarch, and remaining salt, plus the pepper. 
4. After 10 more minutes, pat the eggplant medallions dry with a paper towel. Also start the oil heating. You can use Dutch oven, or a high-sided cast iron skillet.  Do not use a shallow pan.  There should be about an inch of oil in the pan. The frying temperature is 360 degrees. Use a thermometer, or, better yet a deep fat fryer with temperature control. DO NOT USE AN AIR FRYER. 
5. Bread the eggplant by coating the medallions in the flour, then the egg, and the then the panko mixture. Put them back onto the wire rack. 
6. Remember to add the spaghetti when the water boils. Make sure it does not stick together.  You want to have everything get done at the same time.  
7. Fry the breaded eggplant until it is golden brown on both sides, about 4 to 5 minutes. Place the medallions onto a baking sheet. Add a little sauce to the top of each one. Cover them with the mozzarella. Broil until the cheese is melted. 
8. Drain the spaghetti.  
9. Serve the eggplant on a plate with the spaghetti, spreading some sauce over everything. Add Parmesan cheese to taste.

Enjoy.  

Thanks for reading!

--The Impatient Chef