The Impatient Chef Goes Cajun in "The Great Shrimp Boil".

The Impatient Chef has on occasion delved into Southern Cooking.  It seemed only reasonable to go for the holy grail: The Shrimp Boil.

What is that you say?  It really should be a crawfish boil?  The Impatient Chef prefers shrimp.  Crawfish, as I've had them in the past are, shall we say, an acquired taste, not a required taste.  

This was my first attempt, and I decided to do it without a recipe. My goal was to create the taste I had at a local cajun restaurant a few months ago.  I flavored it a little at a time until I came up with the taste I wanted.  I will be doing it again soon, and may improve upon the recipe.  My wife cleaned her dish completely and waxed poetically about it, so I think it was a success. 

This is a spicy dish.  It isn't the kind that requires a Last Will and Testament, though.  You can survive it.  It has a pleasant burn.  

Feeds 6 because The Impatient Chef cannot feed the whole neighborhood.  Look up some recipes, they call for gallons of boil broth.  

Ingredients: 

• 1 pound shrimp, shelled and deveined (keep the shells)
• 3 ears of corn
• 4 andouille sausages
• 1 1/2 lbs new potatoes (small and red), or other, just not russet.
• 8 cups water (including the shrimp broth)
• 7 large cloves garlic, pressed
• 3/4 cup hot sauce (Franks, or Louisiana Hot)
• 1/4 cup Old Bay Seasoning
• 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper (or more if you dare)
• 1/2 stick of butter
• 1/2 tsp salt
• Freshly ground pepper to taste
• 1 1/2 tbsp Tony Chachere’s Cajun seasoning, or Buck’s Zestier BBQ seasoning

Directions:

1. Steam the potatoes until done.  I used an old fondue skewer to check for doneness, rather than cutting them open.  See “Notes on Potatoes” at the end of the recipe for why I did this.
2. While the spuds are steaming, shell and devein the shrimp, place them into a small bowl of cold water.  Hold for last.  Put the shrimp shells into a medium sauce pan, cover with water, and boil for 10 minutes uncovered to make shrimp broth.  
3. While the shells are boiling, chop the sausage into 1” pieces on an angle.  Cut the corn cobs into 1 1/2 inch pieces.    
4. When the Shrimp shells are done, strain liquid into a 8-cup measuring cup.  If you don’t have that size, use smaller ones to measure out the correct amount of liquid: 6 cups total.
5. When the potatoes are done, remove them from the steamer, and set them aside.  
6. Add the liquid to a large pot, and add the Old Bay, hot sauce, Cajun or Buck’s seasoning, cayenne pepper, butter, salt, pepper, and pressed garlic.  Stir.  Taste.  Adjust.  
7. Bring to a boil, covered, stirring occasionally.
8. Boil the broth for 5 minutes, and, add the potatoes, sausage and corn.  Stir.  
9. Taste.  
10. Boil for about 8 to 10 minutes, stirring occasionally, trying not to break the potato's skins, then add the shrimp.  Boil for 1 minute.  It does not matter whether the broth boils.  Turn the heat off after a minute.  
11. Serve.  
12. Enjoy.  We like to have buttered sourdough bread, or some rice with this meal. 

         

Notes on Potatoes:  On my second try at this recipe, I chose small, red potatoes.  Ones that were small enough to cook whole.  The thought being that I would get a cleaner broth.  I started by steaming the potatoes, whole, until done, and setting them aside while I prepared the boil broth.  It was a success.  The multi-colored fingerling potatoes shown in the picture had to be cut up, and by the end of the boil, there was a bit of sediment in the bottom, which became worse upon reheating.  Being frugal, we like to eat everything we cook, and the end of the broth was not as pleasurable as the beginning.  With the small, whole potatoes, the broth was indeed very clean.  I cut them apart once in my bowl, and they absorbed plenty of the spicy goodness.  While this method is not traditional, I think it made for a better taste and texture.  

Another change to the recipe was the addition of 2 more cloves of garlic, and I upped the hot sauce to 1/2 cup.  

The Impatient Chef and the Quest for a Veddy, Veddy British Cream Tea, Part 4, Putting It All Together

In this final installment of The Impatient Chef’s Veddy, Veddy British Cream Tea we put it all  together.  Baking day came on a Sunday.  It was time to make the scones.  

As I mentioned before I used Mary Berry’s scone recipe.  These scones are light and airy, and flavorful, unlike the wedges of crumbly drywall that are commonly disregarded in American coffee shops.  

Equipment: 

You will need a fluted 5cm/2in cutter.

Ingredients:

• 450g / 1lb self-raising flour (recipe after this recipe)
• 2 level tsp baking powder
• 50g / 1¾ oz caster sugar
• 100g / 3½ oz butter, softened, cut into pieces
• 2 free-range eggs
• a little milk
• handful sultanas (optional)

To Serve:

• Strawberry jam
• Clotted (or Devonshire) cream

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 425f (400f convection).  Lightly grease a baking tray (two if they’re smaller).

1. Put the flour, baking powder and sugar in a large bowl. Add the butter and rub in with your fingertips until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs.
2. Crack the eggs into a measuring jug, then add enough milk to make the total liquid 300ml/10fl oz. Stir the egg and milk into the flour – you may not need it all – and mix to a soft, sticky dough. 
3. Turn out onto a lightly floured work surface, knead lightly and work in the sultanas, if using. Roll out to a rectangle about 2cm/¾” thick.  I divided the batter, used sultanas in half of the scones. 
   
   
   
   
   
   
4. Cut into as many rounds as possible with a fluted 5cm/2in cutter and place them on the prepared baking trays. 
5. Brush the tops of the scones with a little extra milk, or any egg and milk left in the jug.
   
6. Bake for 12–15 minutes, or until the scones are well risen and a pale, golden-brown colour. Lift onto a wire rack to cool. Eat as fresh as possible.

To make Self-Raising Flour

Ingredients:

• 1 cup (120g) pastry flour
• 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt

Directions:

1. Whisk all of the ingredients together in a bowl; use as directed in your recipe.

Recipe Tips

Once the scones are cool, they can be frozen. To eat, defrost at room temperature and then reheat in a hot oven for 10 minutes. The scone dough should be slightly sticky to give the best results. Don’t over handle the dough or it will be tough and don’t be tempted to roll it out too thinly or you won’t get good deep scones. For larger 5cm/2in scones, bake for 10-12 minutes. 

Let's review.  
Pastry Flour from Bob's Red Mill in Milwaukie, Oregon.  https://www.bobsredmill.com
Jam from the Apple Valley Country Store in Hood River Oregon.  https://applevalleystore.com
Scone Cutters from Kitchen Kaboodle in Portland, Oregon.  https://www.kitchenkaboodle.com
Devonshire Cream from Cost Plus World Markets.  https://www.worldmarket.com
Scone recipe from Mary Berry.  https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/tea_time_scones_77839
Fortmason Tea from the Death Star.   https://www.amazon.com

Serving

Get your nicest tea pot, and tea cups.  I have found that Goodwill is a good place to find tea cups, just don’t expect complete sets.   The Impatient Chef prefers loose leaf tea.  Brewing tea is an art.  Pay attention to brewing times and temperatures. For Fortmason Tea, brew it just like Earl Grey—boiling water is fine, and steep no longer than 4 minutes.  A tea cozy is also a must.  Some small plates provide a nice place to put the scones.  Butter is optional.  Put the Devonshire Cream and jam into some small dishes.  Split the scones, add the cream and jam, and enjoy!  

But, we're not finished yet.  There is some controversy in Merry Olde England over whether to spread the cream first, or the jam.  Because people are regional and fiercely proud of their traditions (The Impatient Chef remembers Dr. Seuss's "Butter Battle Book", and how it exemplifies the futility of such fierocitude), the cream first or jam first controversy takes up an inordinate amount of bytes of the internet on all places in the .uk section of the https://www.  Being American, The Impatient Chef can do it both ways as whim permits.  You do the same.

The Impatient Chef's Veddy Veddy British Cream Tea, Part 3: Kick Out the Jams

In our last installment, The Impatient Chef found the ingredients and recipe for the perfect scones.  For our next installment, it's all about jam!

There was a band from Detroit in the 1960's called the MC5.  They were an early proto punk/metal/rabble-rousing/ear-splitting group of sonic misfits who wove jazz and R&B into loud guitars and smashing drums well before it became fashionable.  One of their members, one Fred “Sonic” Smith, married Patti Smith in the 70’s, but that’s another story.  Their most popular song was called “Kick out the Jams.”  The Impatient Chef is aware of the concept of irony, and thus wishes to dedicate this chapter of the “Vedy, Vedy British Cream Tea” to the the song that launched a thousand ear plugs, because we’re going to Kick out the Jams, Brothers and Sisters.  

Our quest began in Hood River, Oregon.  Hood River is the closest one can get to living in paradise in the northern hemisphere.  Doubt me?  Take that!  

Ruthton Point, Hood River

And that!

Mt Hood and Orchard, Hood River

And that!

Sunbeam, Hood River Valley

Had enough?  Well, then, let’s continue.  

Hood River has a locally famous route of farm stands called the “Fruit Loop” that starts on Route 35 where it leaves I-84 along the river that gives Hood River its name.  It goes up a long hill past fruit stands, orchards, wineries, and more fruit stands, orchards, and wineries until it passes Odell, and then onto the turn off to Parkdale, and onto Route 281, also known as the Dee Highway, where it winds past more fruit stands, orchards and wineries until it becomes Tucker Road, and pretzels along the aforementioned river, and past the Apple Valley Country Store (bookmark that for later), and finally returns to Hood River (the town, not the river again) where both Mt Adams and Mt Hood are visible.  

We were looking for local berries, but all of the farms stands had packed up for the season.  Being November, berry season was well over.  The Impatient Chef prefers local produce, but isn’t above dragging it out of a mega-conglomo-mart, as long as it doesn’t begin with “Wal.”  

They have such a place in that hinterland of windsurfers and snow bunnies.  It’s called “Rosauers.”  They even had berries.  Great.

They were grown in Mexico.  Not so great.  The idea was to use local berries.  A thought sizzled through the negatively-charged, ionized space between the Impatient Chef’s ears:

Apple Valley

Apple Valley makes its jams from local fruits and berries.  So, if The Impatient Chef can’t kick the jams out himself, why not let someone else do it?  

This is not a commercial, but it could be considered an endorsement.  They windsurf the Web here:  https://applevalleystore.com.  

Inside, you will be greeted by shelves stocked with their namesake jellies, jams, syrups, mustards, pies, and pie fillings, as well as Moonstruck Chocolates (https://moonstruckchocolate.com), ice cream, and locally made pot holders. 

Kickin' Out the Jams

More Kickin' Out the Jams

Mustard!

We walked out with Marionberry Jam, Peach Pepper Jelly, Raspberry Jam, a container of Moonstruck Hot Cocoa Mix, and a really big cookie.  T’was a goodly haul for a Vedy, Vedy British Cream Tea.  

Up next: Putting it all together.  

The Impatient Chef Makes Light of a Vodka Commercial

     I heard a sponsor message on Public Radio today about a vodka that was “filtered through  volcanic rock” among other high-nosed descriptions.  I had a good laugh, and decided to kick it up a notch.  

     And, so, I present to you a fictional commercial for the non-existent Bumptious Vodka. 

     "At Bumptious Vodka, we distill our vodka from water lovingly ladled from Pacific Northwest mountain salmon streams by virgins clad in genuine divine light emanating from their pure, nubile bodies, and ferment the finest potatoes grown from seeds saved by Irish farmers during the Potato Famine.  We then filter our vodka through cruelty-free, and willingly donated Sasquatch hair, and bottle it in ancient genie decanters.  Our distillers work tirelessly to remove even the slightest trace of flavor, and so our spirit has been branded by the gods who will watch your party from Mount Olympus, and suggest some very fine cocktail recipes.  It’s the only vodka awarded every gold medal in the known universe, including the sought-after Universal Best in Class Prize from the Andromeda Galaxy Tieoneon Society.  Our vodka even guarantees that you will get laid if you spike the punch at the office party.  Bumptious Vodka is so clean and crisp that you won’t know which is the water glass until you are gifted your very own artisanal hangover the next morning.  So, the next time you reach for a spirit that won’t stand out from your pomegranate juice, but will still make you feel like you spent a million dollars, reach for Bumptious Vodka."

The Impatient Chef's Veddy Veddy British Cream Tea, Part 2: The Quest for Scones.

In our last episode, we were on the Quest for Fortmason Tea.  
The next Item on the list for the Cream Tea was flour for the Scones.  We decided to go with Mary Berry’s scone recipe, so we needed to have self-raising flour.  We could have gone to the grocery store down the street, but why do that when we can go to:

BoB's Red Mill

The Impatient Chef gets hungry while shopping, and Bob’s Red Mill has a restaurant in its Whole Grain Store (located near the actual mill in Milwaukie, Oregon).  The restaurant is not a formal affair, in keeping with the general folksy vibe at the store.  You order at the counter, grab your coffee or soft drink from the drinks island, or from the cooler.  You take a number to your table, and the food arrives a short while later.  The food, as one would expect, features Bob’s Red Mill products, as well as local meat and produce.  It’s quality fare. 

Well, at least what I’ve had of it. You see, The Impatient Chef has a weakness for good hamburgers.  So does The Impatient Chef’s wife.  We have eaten there 4 times.  I have had the burger 3 of those, and the Reuben once.  When I got the Reuben, I was seriously considering the burger.  The Reuben, not parenthetically, was excellent as well. 

The Burger Rules!

After the burger, it was time to get the flour.

Choices.

We were after pastry flour, but the question arose of whether to buy whole wheat or white.  White would make the traditional scone of Mary Berry’s recipe.  Whole wheat would make flavorful, but possibly denser scones.  Decisions.  Decisions.  But, being the Solomon of the Shopping Trip, I split the baby, and bought both.

Mary Berry’s recipe also calls for “self-raising flour.”  Being American, I have never used that.  Fine.  I’ll have to make it.  It wasn’t hard.  Recipe courtesy of King Arthur Flour.

Mix the following together:

• 1 cup (120g) All-purpose flour

• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

• 1/4 teaspoon salt

Next for the clotted cream.  

Clotted cream, or Devonshire Cream, is an undoubtably British accouterment known for both its use with scones and jam, and for Rowan Atkinson’s contempt riddled soliloquy in Blackadder (find it, watch it).  Since The Impatient Chef likes to cook from scratch, especially unfamiliar recipes (unless impatience overrides adventuresomeness [bookmark this for later]), making some at home was the first order of business.  I consulted the Oracle at Yahoo for all the world’s wisdom, and came up thus:  

According to Curious Cuisinière’s web site:

“The cream has to be heated slowly for 12 hours, which we find easiest to do overnight. Then it is cooled for another 8 hours (or over the next night).”

So, it was off to Cost Plus World Market, and it’s British food section. Phew!  That was close.  The Impatient Chef is waaaay too impatient for that.  A short shopping trip later, the cream was procured, and only one ingredient remained.  

Coming up next on the Quest for Teat: Kick Out the Jams.  

The Impatient Chef Recipe: Pigs in a Blanket

They’re super easy, and quick.  Using puff pastry adds a little French cachet to an otherwise delightfully low-brow treat for kids, both young and old.

Thanks to Gaia Quay for the idea.

You will need:

• 1 package of 8 hot dogs. 
• 1 package puff pastry (2 sheets) thawed
• 8 slices cheese (I prefer cheddar)
• 1 egg, beaten
• flour for rolling
• A little warm water

Directions: 

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
2. Spread flour on the rolling surface.  With a rolling pin, roll out the puff pastry until it’s about a third bigger that it started.  each sheet needs to be able to cover 4 hot dogs with a little room for closing the ends and pinching them closed.  
3. Cut each sheet into 4 squares.  Lay a hot dog on each.  Add a slice of cheese to each dog.  Tear it into chunks if necessary to add cheese to the full length of the dog.
4. Wrap the dogs like a burrito in the puff pastry.  Using a brush, wet the edge of the pastry where the two edges come together.  This will make them stick together.  Don’t make it too wet, though.  Wet the inside ends of the puff pastry where you will squeeze them together to seal the dog in.  Press the pastry together at the ends.  Use a fork to crimp the ends together.
5. Brush the tops and sides of the blankets with the beaten egg.  
6. Bake for 25 minutes, or until the tops become golden brown.  
7. Serve with mustard, or other, lesser condiments.

The Impatient Chef Recipe: Potatoes au Rotten

Sometimes a name just pops into your head, and it won't let go.   And sometimes, even though the name is not at all appetizing, you have to make the dish around it.  This is one such occasion.
In the lead-up to Christmas, I was planning the meal which my family would partake of, and I needed a potato dish.  I had read a news article about the queen of England just a few minutes before, and The Sex Pistols song "God Save the Queen" popped into my head.  Then, it struck:  Potatoes au Rotten, named for the lead singer, Johnny Rotten.  I would make a spiced up version of the regular dish, and give it spiky, red hair with the addition of shredded carrots on the top.  A side dish was born.

The Impatient Chef presents:  Potatoes au Rotten.

Photo Credit: Rex (no last name given)

Ingredients:

• 2 1/2 lbs russet potatoes, sliced into 1/4 inch rounds
• 1 large onion, sliced into rings
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• Fresh, ground pepper
• 1/2 tsp mustard powder
• 3 heaping tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 3 tbsp (or more) Cajun Seasoning (or other zesty mixture)
• 1 cup milk
• 1 cup buttermilk (or more milk)
• 6 oz shredded Pepper Jack cheese
• 4 oz shredded carrots.
• 1 cup panko

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Butter a 1 quart casserole dish. 
2. Layer 1/2 of the potatoes into bottom of the buttered casserole dish. Top with the onion slices, and add the remaining potatoes. Sprinkle the Cajun Seasoning over the top. 
3. In a medium-size saucepan, melt butter over medium heat. Mix in the flour and salt, and stir constantly with a whisk for one minute. Add about 1/4 cup of the milk.  Stir until incorporated, and then slowly stir in the rest.  Stir in dried mustard powder.  Cook, stirring, until mixture has thickened.  Stir in cheese all at once, and continue stirring until melted, about 30 to 60 seconds.  Pepper to taste.  
4. Pour cheese over the potatoes, sprinkle the shredded carrot over the top, and cover the dish with aluminum foil.
5. Bake 1 1/4 hours in the preheated oven.  
6. Remove from the oven, and sprinkle panko over the top.  Bake the remaining 15 minutes uncovered.  Allow to rest for 10 minutes.  Serve.