The Impatient Chef Presents: The Ultimate Chili Dog

Once upon a time, there was a hot dog and ice cream joint in Cascade Locks, Oregon called Locks of Dogs and Treats.  The Impatient Chef reviewed them back in 2018.  While the name was a tad silly, the food was revelatory in its simplicity and yum factor.  Unfortunately, they did not make it through the pandemic, so the only way to have one of their loaded chili dogs was to recreate it.  

The Dog Lives!

Please note: The Impatient Chef is comforted greatly by comfort food, and as mentioned before, is impatient. This recipe puts those two ingredients together, and throws in some Southern charm to come up with what is basically a Frito Pie on a hot dog.

The object was to get as close to the taste I remember, and, here's the key, do it impatiently.  

Here goes:  

Serves 4.

Ingredients:

• 3 cans of the chili you like the most.   This recipe uses canned chili.  Deal with it.  
• 4 Hebrew National Beef Kosher Hot Dogs
• Grated cheddar 
• Grated pepper jack
• Fritos
• Sliced Jalapeños 
• 3 standard sized hot dogs, sliced (if necessary)
• Hot dog buns 

Equipment:

• A crockpot
• Paper serving dishes 

Directions:

A few hours before you want to serve, put the chili in the crockpot, and add the hot dogs.  The second time The Impatient Chef frequented Locks of Dogs and Treats, he noticed a touch of genius in the chili: small slices of hot dogs.  To recreate this, if your chili does not have sliced dogs in it, slice the 3 standard sized hot dogs somewhat thinly, no more than 1/4" thick.  Add them to the crockpot, and stir them in.  

The Impatient Chef uses an older one with three settings: off, low, and high.  Use high, or the equivalent on yours.  Stir occasionally.  No burning allowed.  

When the chili and dogs are hot through and through (remember, these are large hot dogs, so it will take longer to heat them), prepare your other ingredients.  

Grate the cheeses and mix them together in a bowl.  There are no amounts given because you can use as much (to a point) or as little as you want.  Slice the Jalepeños.  The Impatient Chef used whole pickled jalapeños from a Mexican grocery store, and sliced them.  You can use pre-sliced jalapeños if you want.  The Impatient Chef prefers Mezzetta Sliced Hot Jalapeños.  

The Other Ones

Serve.  

The Impatient Chef gritted his teeth on this one:  Use rectangle paper food trays, the kind with red and white checkers on the bottom, unless you have rectangular dishes of the right size.  

The Impatient Chef Models the Tray in the Back Yard

First, open the bun wide (say ah), and insert the dog. Note the correctly sized slice of hot dog that tagged along with its larger cousin.

The Dog at Rest

Next, ladle the chili liberally over the dog.  You want to cover the whole bun, and some should slop over the sides into the tray.  Don't skimp.  Then, throw on a mitten full of cheese, some Fritos, and about 10 Jalapeño slices.  

The Real McCoy at Locks of Dogs and Treats from 2018

Eat.  

You deserve it.

The Impatient Chef

The Impatient Chef Can't Sit Still at Uncle Earl's BBQ Bistro

Uncle Earl's Cart

There’s a food cart pod just off of SE 82nd Ave in Portland, Oregon. A side street called SE Lafayette heads off at a right angle just before SE Powell Blvd heading north. The Impatient Chef happened to see it on my way home from Pensey’s Spices and a restaurant supply store where he bought a cast iron tortilla press. Tacos may ensue. The cart pod, called Collective Oregon Eateries, seemed inviting enough, so The Impatient Chef parked, and got out of the car. That’s when the sweet smell of smoked BBQ hit him. That smell is hard to resist, so The Impatient Chef made a bee line to the source, which is Uncle Earl’s BBQ Bistro. 

Uncle Earl gave me a wave when The Impatient Chef took a picture (above) of his cart to send it the Spousal Unit to let her know that there was BBQ afoot. She was agreeable, so The Impatient Chef ordered. Brisket was the obvious starting place. Brisket is key to knowing whether a BBQ joint knows its business. Rounding out the meal were pulled pork, and a half a chicken. Our sides were mac and cheese, and corn bread muffins. 

The Menu

  After a ten minute wait, The Impatient Chef had a bag of BBQ to take home. 

Which The Impatient Chef did. 

This is where it gets complicated. Fear not. The outcome was satisfying.

The Impatient Chef doesn’t answer phone calls while driving, yet Uncle Earl tried to call to say that he had forgotten the pulled pork. The voicemail was waiting once ensconced in the garage.  Arrangements were made arrangements to pick it up later.

So, missing the pulled pork, we dove in.    

The Impatient Chef has taken better pictures than this

The Brisket.

Cut-it-with-a-fork tender, juicy, and smokey, it really was the star of the show. There is no doubt that Uncle Earl knows brisket inside and out. There really is not much more to say about it. Gather your best superlatives in a basket and fling them at it. See what sticks.

The Chicken.

Chicken is a demanding bird. Prone to dryness, and yet hard to cook all the way through without becoming dry, it’s easy to cluck it up. This chicken was midrange moist, but not dry. The rub was nicely spiced with a satisfying amount of smoke, and it went well with the BBQ sauce provided.

Mac and Cheese.

Much better than The Impatient Chef has gotten from other BBQ places. It is not an afterthought. It even has a little smoke to it. It is not the gloppy style. The macaroni had a good coating, enough to hold everything together, but not too much. Some types of mac an cheese demand a lot of sauce, but The Impatient Chef thinks that Uncle Earl’s would suffer from too much. It has a fairly intense flavor. Too much sauce could overpower the noodles. 

Corn Bread Muffins

Corn bread tends to be dry, and this was no exception. It was, however, moister than most, and The Impatient Chef could eat it without butter or honey. In the South, there is a distinction between corn bread and what is derisively called “Johnny Cake”, which is dry and requires copious amounts of butter to make it palatable. This was not Johnny Cake. Lighter in color than many an inedible corn bread muffin that The Impatient Chef has had in the past (Yes, The Impatient Chef is talking to you, Black Bear Diner), it had a fresh, corny (not corn-mealy) flavor, with what looks like a small amount of diced red peppers inside. 

Pulled Pork.

After finishing the meal, we drove back out to the cart to pick up the pulled pork. The Impatient Chef knows that mistakes happen, but Uncle Earl wasn’t giving himself any slack. He apologized a number of times, and threw in some ribs to sweeten the deal. Like the brisket, the pulled pork was a masterwork of smoked meats. Tender and juicy with all the appropriate superlatives flung at it, it shines brightly between the teeth. 

Ribs

The bonus ribs were likewise excellent. Not wanting to be too repetitious, The Impatient Chef will leave it at that. 

If you are in the area, follow your nose from 82nd and Lafayette Street, and settle in for some excellent BBQ. Try not to notice the self-inflicted boot print on Uncle Earl’s back side. He won’t be forgetting your pulled pork.

Thanks for reading! 

The Impatient Chef

The Impatient Chef Can’t Sit Still at 3 Rivers Grill, Hood River

The Impatient Chef Can’t Sit Still at 3 Rivers Grill , Hood River

The Can't Sit Still series of reviews is normally from a single visit to a restaurant while out on the road.  This one will be different.  3 Rivers Grill in Hood River, Oregon has been a favorite for many years.  So, here goes...

The Impatient Chef first reviewed 3 Rivers Grill in 2018.  You can find that here. 

3 Rivers Grill in Hood River is upscale without being snooty, and the food is always good. The Impatient Chef and Spouse sampled its eats in early June 2024 as an early summer downpour let up long enough for us to get to the front door.  

A few words about Hood River:  The Impatient Chef began this blog duing his much too brief tenure as a resident of that fine city in the heart of the Columbia Gorge.  It is built on the cusp of Oregon's dry side, where rainfall decreases, and the western lush foliage slowly gives way to boney white oaks, and finally to grasslands within the space of twenty miles eastward.  The city rises from the banks of the mighty Columbia River, and climbs the gorge walls like a tiny San Francisco until arriving in "The Heights" where it flattens out before giving way to the orchards of the Hood River Valley.  3 Rivers Grill is perched on the hillside between river and Heights, on a road that more resembles a ski jump.  If you want to get to its door, bring along some rope and a few crampons.  

On the June visit, shrimp cocktail was first on the must have list. It came served in a cocktail glass for a nice touch. The shrimp was perfectly done and the cocktail sauce, while being light on horseradish, had something spicy going on to give it some zing, so it did not suffer from the omission. The Impatient Chef suspects that they used siracha.  

Show Us Your Tails!

The entrée was the day's special:  Strip steak with crab and shrimp.  Everything was piled up like a rugby match on mashed potatoes, with the crab sprinkled generously over top.  The sauce was delicious, but cold.  The Impatient Chef is not sure if it was supposed to be that way, but it didn't matter much.  The steak was a perfect medium rare.  Everything played well together, and the pile contained enough food to split between two people, and still be satisfied afterward.  

The Pile of Yum

Another View of Yum

The reasons that The Impatient Chef boomerangs to 3 Rivers Grill are that the food is always excellent, and the staff is friendly. You can also see Mt. Adams from the deck.  

Thanks for looking!

The Impatient Chef

The Impatient Chef Can't Sit Still at Creekside BBQ in Vancouver, Washington

The Impatient Chef Can't Sit Still at Creekside BBQ in Vancouver, Washington

Disclaimer: “Can’t Sit Still” is a series of reviews based on a single visit to a restaurant while traveling.  Your results may vary.  

Because The Impatient Chef Can't Sit Still, he stopped in at Creekside BBQ in Vancouver, Washington for the first time today with a hankering for anything smoked and savory. Upon arrival, the first thing of note is the unassuming strip mall vibe, which is not necessarily a bad thing.  Lots of good meals can be had in such places.  

Creekside BBQ Counter

Exiting the car, The Impatient Chef immediately caught the wiff of wood smoke.  There is really no smell like it when the stomach is growling, assuming that one is not a vegetarian (to be perfectly frank, The Impatient Chf was a vegetarian in the 80's and 90's, but sill thought that the smell of smoke from BBQ pits was intoxicating). 

Ordering is perpetrated at the counter.  The staff was friendly and helpful, all one of him.  Hunger demanded the Tri-Mountain Plate, which has three meats and two sides.  The meats:  brisket, pulled pork and chicken.  The sides:  mac and cheese, and a horseradish coleslaw.  Add in some sweet tea, and things were looking up.  

How Sweet It Is

At the table was a basket of four different sauces. Things were looking even better.  Excitment crackled like static electricity in the air.  

The Sauces

The meal arrived shortly. The portions were good, and presented well. 

The Meal (Already Split Between Two People)

The brisket was the star of the show. It was tender, juicy, and The Impatient Chef could cut it with a fork.  

The chicken and pork, however, didn't quite live up to the brisket's example.

The chicken was a little dry. It had a decently smoky taste, but needed something to counteract the dryness.

The pulled pork was also a little dry.   It was missing the smoky, caramelized flavor that good pulled porks have, and The Impatient Chef has had some amazing pulled porks over the eons, so he knows the difference.  It also needed a good sauce to give it a little zing.

Which brings us to the sauces. The sauces were disappointing.  The flavors did not seem complimentary to the meats. They called attention to themselves instead of playing nice. The sauces were as follows: 

• Texas Red. Too sweet. Bright but overpowering flavor.
• Kansas City Sweet - opposite problem. Timidity flavored, but still odd on the palate. 
• North Carolina Vinegar was the best of the lot. It was not too vinegary, and had some interesting flavors to back it up. It stole the show on the brisket. That said, it clashed with the other meats. 
• South Carolina Mustard - not bad on the pulled pork. Better when mixed with the vinegar sauce.  It clashed mightily with the chicken and brisket.  They drew swords at each other and growled, metaphorcally, of course. Thankfully, nobody was run through.

The sides: Horseradish coleslaw - fresh and crisp. Great flavor. Mac and cheese - a Velveeta-like flavor with sad bread crumbs (possibly panko) on top.

Cornbread muffin - acceptable. Unusual, but good texture.

Overall, it was average bbq. The Impatient Chef was hoping it would be one of those diamond in the rough places that put out wow food from unlikely digs. It was not to be this time.  

All these things said, It was not a bad meal, merely average, so you wouldn't be wrong going there if you crave BBQ. Just don't expect to have your socks knocked off.

Thanks for reading!

The Impatient Chef.  

The Impatient Chef Can't Sit Still at Ixtapa Hood River

 The Impatient Chef Can't Sit Still at Ixtapa Hood River

The Impatient Chef Meets the Burrito

“Can’t Sit Still” is a series of posts featuring a single visit to a restaurant while out on the road. It is not meant to offer an evaluation of the restaurant's menu on the whole.

This meal happened on a very windy day in the Eastern Columbia Gorge in Oregon. The Impatient Chef blew into Hood River from Points Yonder with a carload of camera gear that was not used to photograph wildflowers because they couldn’t sit still either.

Ixtapa is a small chain of 5 Mexican restaurants in Oregon and Idaho. The Impatient Chef breezed through the one in The Dalles, Oregon about 6 years ago, and so was interested in seeing what the Hood River location had to offer.

It was good to be back in town. Having lived in Hood River for a few years, and still missing the place, it really was a wonderful town.

We were seated, and the prerequisite chips and salsa appeared on the table. The Chips were fresh, and the salsa was mild but surprisingly good, featuring tomato, cilantro, onion, and peppers.

We ordered the Ixtapa Burrito with an extra plate, and another dish of salsa for the remaining chips. The waitress called it the Burrito Ixtapa for a refreshing burst of atmosphere authentic and charm Mexican, which matched the music Mariachi on the sound system.

The Impatient Chef is questing for the best carnitas in the usual stompin’ grounds after having some incredible stuff in Sacramento, and from a taco cart in Mosier (link). If the joint is surrounded by Mexican farm or construction workers, you will find flavor there.

Gaia ordered a Margarita. She said it was good, and the tequila was “not gasolineish”.

The burrito. This burrito sinks or swims on the flavor of the carnitas. Some places do it better than others. The burrito also contained rice, melted cheese, guacamole, sour cream. Onion, scallions, refried beans.

The carnitas verdict:. A bit bland, with signs of attempted, but not successful caramelization. Overall flavor is not bad, but suffers from an apparent attempt to make it palatable for Americans. Music and adjective placement aside, the burrito had none of the prerequisite zing. 

We had cheesecake for dessert. Chocolate with shaved chocolate and whipped cream and a cherry on an Oreo crust. It looked awesome. The reality was again quite different. The cheesecake filling was whipped - more mousse than cheesecake. It did not seem like it was made on site. It was light on chocolate flavor. The Impatient Chef is beginning to wonder if the taste buds have failed.

Overall, it was burrito disappointing.

The Impatient Chef Can’t Sit Still at China Gorge, Hood River, Oregon

The Impatient Chef Goes Vegan (for a meal)

The Impatient Chef stopped in at China Gorge in Hood River, Oregon for the first time in a few years.  He and the Spousal Unit used to live in that pithy, happening burg astride the Mighty Columbia River, but unfortunately had to move away in 2019.  It was nice to be back in town.  

China Gorge has a good reputation locally.  The Impatient Chef has often seen its parking lots swelled to capacity, and stopped in when the line was less daunting.  

The order: 

The Impatient Chef ordered the Hot and sour soup, and the Kung Pao Tempeh.  

The Spousal Unit ordered the Hot and Sour Soup, Imperial Chicken.

The soup:  Spicy and teeming with umami, with Tofu, peppers, pork strips, egg drop, mushrooms, and a thick broth.  The flavors work together, and do not crowd each other out.  This is a stand-out soup.  

Kung Pao Tempeh

Kung Pao Tempeh:  Featuring peanuts, tempeh, zucchini, celery, and fried rice.  It looks like rice tempeh. The Impatient Chef sometimes gets tempeh or tofu when he’s feeling mortal, and needs to line his aorta with a little less fatty deposits.  Tempeh is a cultured cake, usually of soy, but sometimes of rice, that has vitamins like B12 that you can't find in other vegan foods.  

Tempeh is difficult to flavor.  It normally sits like a dull thud on the taste buds without extreme measures.  It would seem a travesty to visit a restaurant with a loyal, local following, and review a tempeh dish instead of chicken or shrimp, but The Impatient Chef can report that they made a valiant effort.  The sauce was spicy and stuck to the ingredients nicely.  A little soy sauce was all it needed.  

The Spousal Unit said that her chicken was uninspired.  The Impatient Chef has apparently spoiled her, but isn’t that what Impatient Chefs are all about?  

All in all, it was a good meal.  China Gorge is solid, American style Chinese food.  It is not adventurous, or even inspired, except for the soup.  Go elsewhere for that.  However, we got a meal for two with food to take home for under $40.00 including tip.

“Can’t Sit Still” is a series of road food reviews based on a single visit.

Thanks for reading!

—The Impatient Chef

The Impatient Chef Can't Sit Still at Tokyo-Ya in Portland

The Impatient Chef Can't Sit Still at Tokyo-Ya in Portland

The Impatient Chef Noodling About

    Having watched food shows over the last ten years like Chef’s Table, Ugly Delicious (with David Chang), and anything starring Anthony Bourdain, The Impatient Chef has become infatuated with the idea of ramen. In the hinter years before ramen culture swept the US, it consisted of dried noodles and a flavor packet in a plastic wrapper.  Realizing that there was more to the oodley noodles than previously suspected, The impatient Chef thereby endeavored to make a higher form of ramen, starting with homemade dashi, various veggies, a hard-boiled egg or two, and very thin noodles.  Oddly enough, a breakfast tradition was born from these fishy beginnings.  Even more recently, The Impatient Chef decided to try some ramen restaurants. Tokyo-Ya was the second one: A fact that will come into play later.   
    The Impatient Chef and wife stopped for lunch at Tokyo-Ya on SE 82nd Ave in Portland on a fine (for ducks), drizzly afternoon in the wee hours of March, 2024.  The atmosphere inside, and out of the rain, is strip mall, but not of the squalid sort.  It was, frankly, fitting. The aforementioned ramen culture in Japan relies heavily on smallish slot spaces like the one this one occupies.  There is plenty of wood, hanging lights, and Japanese stylings.  An odd, Asian-inspired version of The Mamas and the papas' song “California Dreamin’” played on the sound system. It was not unpleasant. The follow up song was “San Francisco”, originally by Scott McKenzie, done in the same style by the same artist as the previous song. It was not not unpleasant (double negative intended). The drum beat was exactly the same for both songs.
    Enough about the music.
    My wife ordered gyoza appetizer, and a side salad.  The Impatient Chef ordered the Miso Ramen. We asked for all of it to arrive at the same time. The gyoza arrived a full ten minutes before the ramen. 

The Gyoza

The Salad

    The pork and chicken gyoza arrived browned on one side, oozed umami, and came with a teriyaki-like sauce on the side.  

    The beautifully arranged salad adorned a triangular plate, and was swaddled in a flavorful, but slightly sweet, dressing.
    Then the ramen arrived amid high expectations, unfortunately after my wife had mostly finished her meal.  
    The first ramen restaurant we visited was Kenji’s Ramen and Grill in Vancouver, Washington. The Impatient Chef mentions this because it set the bar very high. Their ramen came with marinated eggs, spicy kimchi, and some spectacular pork belly.  The flavors were bold and extroverted.  There may have been angels singing in the distance.  The rating system for ramen will be known as the "Kenji Scale", as they are a ten.

The Ramen

    The expectations did not survive the comparison with Kenji’s. Don’t get me wrong:  The Ramen was good. It was not, however, sublime. According to the menu, the broth is cooked for 12 hours - it has lots of umami, a little taste of sesame oil, and good miso flavor without being too sweet. The pork belly was sliced like bacon, and it tasted good, but it lacked a unique spin that a more adventurous establishment would deliver.  If the eggs were marinated, it was not for very long.  
    The portion was big enough for two people, so part of it went home.  
    Overall, it was a good meal. The Impatient Chef rates it a 7 on the Kenji scale.  You can certainly do worse. You can, however, do better.  

    Thanks for reading!

    The Impatient Chef