The Impatient Chef's Veddy Veddy British Cream Tea, Part 1

A Veddy Elegant British tea

A few months ago, in the carefree, short-sleeved summertime, and being wont to do so, my wife and I stopped at a Celtic Festival at a nearby church.  It was a small affair, with a bandstand, rows of benches, and a variety of musical acts, mostly punctuated by bagpipes.  A few booths circled a lightly wooded area where artists, and non-profits sold wares.  Songs were sung, pies were sold, and for a few bucks High Tea, and Cream Tea was poured inside a cafeteria near the bandstand.  

We opted for the less filling, bangerless Cream Tea (a banger is a british sausage), which involves scones, jam, and Devonshire Cream (clotted cream), and tea.  

The tea arrived in a small teapot with elegant cups.  I was a little disappointed to see the the tea was Lipton.  Still, we spread the cream on the scones, and put the jam on top of that (this is the Devon method, as opposed to the Cornwall style, which is cream on top of the jam), and had a lovely British tea experience.  It left us wanting to take it up a notch.  What improvements were needed to make a veddy, veddy British Cream Tea experience?  

What is veddy?  Veddy is the word "very" spoken with an upper crust British accent with one's nose held indeed high.  

Let us start be deconstructing the idea of cream tea.  The cream in the name stands for the clotted cream, which is unpasteurized milk heated over a steam bath for a long time, after which is is allowed to cool slowly, which causes it to clot.  It was probably discovered by accident, like most culinary practices.  The texture is half way between whipped cream, and butter, and the flavor is slightly sweet.  

Scones are light and crumbly breads made with pastry flour, sugar, egg, and milk.  They don’t resemble the American-style wedges of parched cardboard and poppy seeds to which we’ve become accustomed.  They can have raisins, currents, cranberries, or other smallish dried fruits in them.  

Which brings us to tea.  Tea is NOT something that comes in little bags on strings, unless you’re in a big hurry.  If you have time, and a teapot, looseleaf tea is the way to go.  Tea comes in many flavors, and styles.  There is black tea, green tea, white tea, roobios tea, yerba mate, herbal teas, scented teas, tea lattes, and bubble teas.  For British tea, black tea is traditional.  The Impatient Chef’s tea of choice is Earl Gray.  The Earl Grayest of Earl Gray teas comes from a corner shop on London’s Piccadilly called Fortnum & Mason.  It’s called Fortmason Tea.  

Fortmason Tea used to be available in The US more readily.  I was able to pick it up at a local British restaurant whenever I needed it.  Then, sometime in the late 1990’s it disappeared.  Nobody carried it.  I heard something about customs trouble, but nothing definitive.  So, I stopped looking.  When we decided to create for ourselves a Vedy, Vedy British Cream Tea Experience, we also decided to find Fortmason.  

Notes on buying locally:  I always try to purchase locally, preferably made with local ingredients.  Sometimes this is not possible.  As you will see as this quest for tea progresses, some things can be sourced locally.  Not everyone lives in Portland, Oregon, so your mileage may vary, but it’s always good to make the effort.  The bad news is that nobody in the Portland area sells Fortnum & Mason Teas.  We have a saying in my day job, that when something is extremely hard to get, or is no longer produced, it is made of “unobtanium”.  Wanting this to not be the case, The Impatient Chef had to hold his nose, and venture onto the Amazon.com Deathstar.

Success!

Looseleaf tea is procured.  Next on The Impatient Chef, on to Devonshire Cream, and Jam.